**Youth**

When a man steals your wife,
there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

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Woman inspires us to great things
and prevents us from achieving them.

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The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?"

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I had some words with my wife,
and she had some paragraphs with me.

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'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.
We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

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'There's a way of transferring funds that
is even faster than electronic banking.
It's called marriage.'

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'I've had bad luck with both my wives.
The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

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The most effective way to remember
your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

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You know what I did before I married?

Anything I wanted to.

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My wife and I were happy for twenty years.

Then we met.

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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.
Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

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First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

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